Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“The Hunt for the Black Pyramid” – Episode 5
Written by Marc Handler
Transcription by Brandon Williams

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Megatron: Foolish humans, it’s been right under their noses since we arrived, but they’ve only just discovered it. Even now they don’t realize the Black Pyramid is a matrix chamber for generating power. Once we activate the pyramid, it will amplify all of our power, making us invincible! But first, we’ll need some juice.

Gas Skunk: This is great. These deep sea power lines will provide all the extra energy we need to activate the pyramid.

Slapper: Yeah, if those Autobots don’t get in our way again. Those vehicles really turn my crank shaft.

Gas Skunk: Slapper, we’re miles and miles under the ocean, the Autobots will never know we’re here, so lighten up and relax.

Slapper: Don’t tell me to relax. I hate to relax! I wanna blow the lid off. I want a power surge! Black Pyramid bursting with hyper power, we unleash it, it’s gonna be party time! No one will be able to stop us from sucking up every ounce of energy on this planet. Then, the Predacons will reign supreme! Hahaha!

[Transition]

Koji: Whoa, my first time on a ship! Is it always like this, doc? I feel like the king of the ocean! It’s so exciting. Are we really going to see the Black Pyramid?

Dr. Akashi: First we must reach our destination. Then we’ll attempt to view it with a submersion maneuver that’s never been tried before.

Koji: But how can this ship go under water? It’s not a submarine.

Dr. Akashi: Don’t worry, Koji. The horn’s just announcing we’re reached the target zone incase there any another ships in the area, but that’s very unlikely.

Koji: Yeah, you’re right. Who else would be way out here?

Dark Scream: Our scanner’s picking up a ship. What should we do about it? It could be a big problem.

Sky-Byte: Who cares about some puny humans? If they get in our way, I’ll simply crush them. A lightning shark attack will do it.

Dark Scream: Nobody asked you, Sky-Byte.

Megatron: That ship could draw attention to this location, which could bring the Autobots.

Sky-Byte: Then I’ll take the ship out.

Megatron: Do it.

Sky-Byte: Dark Scream, you come with me. I’ll need backup.

Dark Scream: Whatever, you pathetic little guppy.

Sky-Byte: What did you just say?

Dark Scream: Nothing, I said I wish I… had a puppy!

Sky-Byte: Yes, that’s what I thought.

Dark Scream: Just you wait, when I’m ready I’ll take you apart cylinder by cylinder.

Sky-Byte: You couldn’t take a toy apart! Now watch your mouth or I’ll use you as shark bait.

Dark Scream: How does he hear so well?!

Gas Skunk: Energy, energy galore! Just one more giga-cycle and we’ll have enough.

Slapper: All right!

Gas Skunk: Well that put you in a real jolly mood, didn’t it?

Slapper: Megatron likes a job well done. He’s gonna be very pleased with me!

Gas Skunk: If Sky-Byte doesn’t take the credit.

Slapper: Hey slimeball!

[Transition]

Dr. Akashi: This is a new submersion technology. I’m counting on your expertise, captain.

Captain: We’ll do our best.

Koji: Wow.

Dr. Akashi: Buckle up nice and tight now. We’re about to go under.

Koji: I still don’t see how a big ship like this can go underwater, Dr. Akashi.

Dr. Akashi: Just watch.

Koji: Hey, we’re tilting!

Dr. Akashi: Yes, we’re adapting a vertical orientation.

Koji: Whoa.

Dr. Akashi: This control room goes underwater and detaches from the ship. It’s designed to function as an observation unit.

Koji: So will we get to see the Black Pyramid?

Dr. Akashi: First we observe it from a distance. It was just discovered by satellite, so we don’t know much about it. We must be very cautious.

Koji: Oh wow, just look at all those fish!

Dr. Akashi: You like that, huh?

Koji: Yeah.

Dr. Akashi: The Black Pyramid should be in this sector. Let me see if we can pinpoint it with our sonar tractor.

Koji: Hey, why are those fish swimming away?

Dr. Akashi: Something’s got them scared!

Koji: Hey, it’s a Predacon!

Captain: Oh, we’ve been hit! What’s the damage?

Crew Member #1: I can’t get a reading!

Crew Member #2: Whatever that thing is, it’s jamming up all of our instruments!

Captain: Cancel maneuver. Bring the observation unit back at once!

Crew Member #2: I can’t, sir, it’s not responding!

Captain: Bridge to observation unit… Doctor, can you hear me? Come in. Come in!

Dark Scream: Nice try, Sky-Byte. Stealing my thunder. You can forget that!

Crew Member #1: It’s a robot squirrel or hampster or something!

Captain: It’s a Predacon!

Dr. Akashi: Observation unit to bridge… Anyone there? Captain? Captain? Nothing, the line’s dead. We better switch to manual control. You watch the gauges, I’ll take us back up. It’s not engaging. I’d better go to the machine room and run a full diagnostic. You take the controls and tell me if it comes back online.

Koji: Right. Whoa, look out! We’re hit! Dr. Akashi! I’ve got an emergency situation! Koji to Optimus Prime, this is a distress call! Emergency… repeat, emergency!

Fireman: Beautiful. Now how about a little wax job? Of course that would require some wax.

Koji: We’re under attack by Predacons! The ship is half underwater and the systems are all down… We need your help!

Fireman: Huh?!

Optimus: We’ll get there as fast as we can, Koji! We just traced your signal to an offshore area, west of Zuma Point.

Koji: You got it. That’s where I’m at.

Optimus: Are you okay?

Koji: We’re cut off from the ship. We were searching for the Black Pyramid.

Optimus: The Black Pyramid, that’s probably why the Predacons showed up.

Koji: Yeah, that’s exactly what I was thinking.

Optimus: Hang in there, Koji. We’re on our way.

Fireman: Why does this keep happening?! I need a new assignment.

Optimus: T-AI, requesting status on the area east of Zuma Point.

T-AI: No problem. That’s where they found the Black Pyramid, plus there are some undersea cables in the vicinity.

Optimus: I know which cables you mean. They’re a perfect power source for Predacons. T-AI, setup the global space bridge. Bring it as close as possible to that energy axis. I’m counting on you.

T-AI: All right, no problem! Global space bridge is ready.

Optimus: Fighting underwater won’t be easy. We’ll need the Autobot brothers for this. Activate battle protocol!

T-AI: Affirmitive. Autobot Brothers, lets go to work. Sideburn…

Sideburn: Yo, what’s up with this? I see this cute convertible waving her windshield wipers at me, but when I pop-a-wheelie to check her out, zoom, she’s outta here.

T-AI: This is a Code Alpha emergency activation.

Sideburn: You talkin’ to me?

T-AI: Please activate Code Alpha protocols.

Sideburn: You wanna try that in English? You’re kinda cutting in on my action at the moment.

T-AI: Don’t you ever follow procedures, Sideburn?

Sideburn: To tell you the truth, only when I have to. Can I get back to you after I check out that ride? She was candy apple red!

T-AI: You’ve got a discipline problem. Now hit the global space bridge, pal, or you’re gonna be left behind.

Sideburn: What are you talking about? No one’s gonna leave me behind!

T-AI: X-Brawn, come in.

X-Brawn: Aw come on. Get with it! You guys call that catching air?

T-AI: X-Brawn, Code Alpha. Head for the global space bridge.

X-Brawn: Copy that. I’m movin’ out. Of course I can catch one jump along the way!

Motocross Guy: Hey! This is for Motocross!

X-Brawn: Just showin’ ya’ll how it’s done!

T-AI: Next contact, Prowl. Meet your brothers at the space bridge. Urgent, please confirm.

Prowl: Confirmation, Code Alpha. Siren on. Initiating police protocol.

Optimus: Everyone present and accounted for?

Sideburn: I’m here. That’s the important thing.

Prowl: Sideburn, according to my radar, you are exceeding the speed limit.

Sideburn: Loosen up, bro. It’s an emergency.

Prowl: That’s no excuse to violate municipal traffic codes.

Sideburn: Whatever…

X-Brawn: Incase you haven’t noticed, we’re not submarines. How are we gonna get out to that ship?

Optimus: It’s not going to be easy, that’s for sure. The global space bridge won’t stretch that far.

X-Brawn: Great. Now you’ve got me as worried as a steer in a steakhouse!

Sideburn: Dude, where do you come up with this stuff?

Optimus: According to my data, if we extend the global space bridge as far as possible, we just might be able to jump the rest of the way. It’s risky, but it’s our only chance.

X-Brawn: Hope ya’ll brought your swimming trunks!

[Transition]

Dark Scream: Sure, I have to wreck the ship, but who gets the credit? Sky-Byte, while I do all the hard work!

Optimus: We’re ready. Extend the space bridge to maximum reach and activate.

T-AI: Roger, Optimus. Global space bridge is materialized and activated. No problem. Maximum reach has been attained. That’s as far as it’ll go.

X-Brawn: That’s a long way to jump. Who’s going first?

Sideburn: The hottest Autobot on the lot! Me, of course! That is if Prowl doesn’t give me a ticket for speeding.

X-Brawn: Ease up, Sideburn. I’m sure Prowl isn’t gonna stop you. Right, bud?

Prowl: I suppose it’s all right. Increased speeds are permissible under controlled circumstances.

Sideburn: Gee, thanks. Now step aside and watch how a pro does it. This race boy’s about to fly!

Prowl: I hope he can handle this. He’s a bit of a hothead.

X-Brawn: He may be a hothead, but the kid is gutsy.

Sideburn: Whoa, what was I thinking?! I’m too young to rust! Someone else go.

X-Brawn: Then again, maybe he’s not so gutsy.

Prowl: This requires someone with law enforcement training. Police cars have discipline. Something you lack, Sideburn.

Sideburn: They do have boosters. That does help, you know.

Prowl: Vehicle mode! High speed police chase, protocols activate!

Sideburn: He’s flyin’. Go, bro!

Kelly: Blue skies and peaceful sea. It took months to arrange this trip but at last I can relax and enjoy it. Gee, some of those seaguls are really big. Strange seagul. Kind of looks like… a police car falling from the sky!

Prowl: Look out!

Kelly: I’m going to pretend that didn’t happen!

X-Brawn: It’s too far. Prowl couldn’t make it.

Sideburn: He’s okay, right? I mean, he can swim?

Optimus: Yes, but we’ll need to adjust the angle for my jump.

Sideburn: You’re going to try?

Optimus: I’m going to succeed. Koji needs us. T-AI, increase angle by twenty.

T-AI: Copy that.

Sideburn: He’s outstanding. He always keeps a cool head.

X-Brawn: We’re gonna have to swim to the ship. The sooner we move out the sooner we get there. Vehicle mode! Four-wheel leap! C’mon, Sideburn. Let’s hit it!

Sideburn: You’re always telling me not to jump into things.

X-Brawn: Aw, shut your yappin’ and start paddling.

Sideburn: Do this, do that, just because I’m the youngest.

Optimus: T-AI, bring the space bridge into position. I only have one chance to do this right.

T-AI: Understood. The co-ordinates are locked in.

Optimus: Vehicle mode! Full throttle leap!

Kelly: Police cars don’t fall from the sky, obviously! Ha, ha! So I just imagined it, that’s all! Uhhh… This is not happening. There is no way this is happening!

Optimus: Optimus Prime, transform! Just a little more momentum!

Dark Scream: I hope I’m not seeing what I think I’m seeing, but I am seeing what I think I’m seeing. It’s him! I didn’t know Optimus Prime could fly! I always get kicked around.

Optimus: One Predacon down. My sensors are picking up another approaching.

Sky-Byte: Welcome, Optimus Prime, to my ocean.

Optimus: This ocean belongs to the Earth!

Sky-Byte: Yes, and the Earth belongs to us, the Predacons! You might say I have the home team advantage.

Optimus: And when did the home team start attacking peaceful scientists on research missions?

Sky-Byte: I don’t care about boring, mundane science. I much prefer eloquent poetry. Would you like to hear my latest work? I wrote it in honour of the ancient seafaring muses.

“The cobalt ocean roils
Zephyrs blow cold
And another hapless foe is crushed beneath my heel.”

It’s a vision of the future, the very near future.
Optimus: You might do better with limericks.

Sky-Byte: Huh?
Optimus: Your imagery is derivative. It lacks semiotic cohesion. And the hapless foe is you! I guess you poets find it difficult to accept criticism of your work.

Sky-Byte: My next poem will be your eulogy, as you rust away in a watery grave. Then we’ll see whose poetry lacks semiotic cohesion! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Terrorize!

Optimus: I can’t let him beat me…

Koji: Ah, Optimus is in danger!

Optimus: Torpedoes.

Megatron: Prime’s going to ruin the whole operation! Gas Skunk, Slapper, you have the energy? We need to activate the Black Pyramid.

Gas Skunk: We’re working on it, but there’s Autobots attacking us.

Megatron: That’s nothing! Once we get Optimus under the water, he’ll never come back up.

T-AI: Dispatch centre to Koji. Come in, Koji. T-AI here. Do you copy?

Koji: I copy. Koji here. I’m really worried.

T-AI: Understood. Please give me a field report.

Koji: Sky-Byte’s got Optimus under the water and it’s really hard for him to fight down there.

T-AI: What about the ship? Is it functioning?

Koji: Everything’s still jammed up. I can move the controls, but I can’t get the system to respond. All I’m getting is error messages.

T-AI: Maybe I can check it. I’ll see if my remote functions can penetrate the ship’s network.

Optimus: Lightning Lasers!

T-AI: Pulse scan has identified damaged sectors. X-Brawn, I’m going to need your assistance. I’ll give you the data you need to carry out the system repairs. There are two damaged connectors at these co-ordinates. I’ll upload the repair procedures now. Sideburn, you and Prowl help Optimus Prime. And be careful, Sky-Byte’s an expert at underwater warfare.

Sideburn: All right, looks like you’re the handyman on this mission. Guess we better part ways.

X-Brawn: Yeah, time to strap on my tool belt. See ya later, little brother.

Kelly: They say your mind can play tricks on you out in the ocean. I’m sure that’s all it was. Anyway, that’s all over now, so I can just relax and fish. Nothing to worry about.

X-Brawn: Excuse us, ma’am. Just passin’ through.

Kelly: Errghh! It’s not happening, it’s not happening, it’s not happening, I’m going to sleep.

T-AI: Update, X-Brawn’s going down to do the repairs. You’ll need to man the controls, Koji, so he can man the connections.

Koji: Mmmhmm. Standing by.

Optimus: I have to keep him distracted. As long as he’s targetting me the ship is safe.
Sky-Byte: This is my domain, Optimus. Once you’re in shark infested waters, you’re finished.

Koji: No! No, Optimus! You’ve gotta get back up and fight!

X-Brawn: All right, let’s get this show on the road. X-Brawn, transform!

Sideburn: Stay away from my brother. Target torpedo blast!

Koji: We can’t last much longer.

X-Brawn: This is a delicate operation. One wrong connection and the ship could sink. Hang on, Optimus. I’m working as fast as I can.

T-AI: Is there any response from the controls, Koji?

Koji: The light’s on! Cool! Optimus Prime, you have to fight back.

Sky-Byte: Nothing can beat a shark in the open ocean! I’m completely invincible! I’ve got you right where I want you, Optimus. You don’t know how to fight down here, Optimus. I’m the master of underwater combat! Let’s try the drill! Ha, ha, ha! What do you think, would I make drill sergeant?

T-AI: Optimus! Optimus!

X-Brawn: Repair’s complete, but it needs a push.

Prowl: One push coming up!

X-Brawn: Prepare for impact!

Prowl: Got it!

Optimus: Playtime’s over.

T-AI: The ship is returning to horizontal orientation.

Sky-Byte: Sky-Byte, terrorize! You got a lucky break. Hark, by land or sea, thou shall parrish!

Optimus: Didn’t I tell you to stick with limericks? I withstood your shark attack, now you try my fist of steel!

Megatron: It’s too late to activate the Black Pyramid! Destroy it so the Autobots can’t get to it! Set course for the surface. Hurry!

Optimus: You fixed the ship just in time, X-Brawn.

X-Brawn: Well, I got some heads up help from Prowl.

Prowl: All in the line of duty.

Koji: You guys beat the Predacons!

Optimus: For now, but they’ll be back, Koji.

Koji: Yeah, you’re right. Do you think you’ll ever be able to find my father? I worry about him every day. I want to bring him home.

Optimus: We won’t rest until we’ve found him.

T-AI: I’m picking up more Predacon activity. They’re scanning turbo generators, apparently looking for more energy to steal. Shall I continue to track their movements?

Optimus: Yes. Form up, Autobots. It looks like we’ve got a lot more work to do.

Koji: And I’ll be there right with you, Optimus.

T-AI: New data coming in. Predacon activity at the following co-ordinates: Beta 9, G 11…

[End]