TFCog

Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“Wedge’s Short Fuse” – Episode 20
Written by Richard Epcar
Transcription by Brandon Williams

T-AI: Emergency! Emergency!

Optimus: What’s going on, T-AI?

T-AI: It’s the Predacons, sir. They’re raiding the diamond mine. The diamond mine is located here, in Antarctica.

Optimus: T-AI, go ahead and activate the member select program.

T-AI: Roger, Optimus. Copy that. Member selector. Computer puts the Autobot Brothers closest the the location. Attention, Autobot Brothers, red alert. Repeat, this is an emergency. Respond at once. A diamond mind in Antarctica is being robbed by the Predacons.

Sideburn: Stay calm. I’m already on it, cutie pie.

T-AI: Roger that, Sideburn… And don’t ever call me “cutie pie” again!

Sideburn: I won’t. Sorry!

X-Brawn: T-AI, this is X-Brawn. We’re on our way.

Prowl: There’s an entrance to the space bridge ahead of us. We’ll be there in no time.

Autobot Bros: Let’s do it!

X-Brawn: What in tarnation’s going on here?

Prowl: This is not good. Be careful, stay back!

Sideburn: What kind of crazy tunnel is this? Huh?!

X-Brawn: What in the …

Wedge: Hey, what do you guys think you’re doing? This part of the tunnel is still under construction.

Heavy Load: Yeah, didn’t you get the memo?

X-Brawn: Hey, you guys are the…

Wedge: Wedge, transform! Hyah!

Heavy Load: Heavy Load, transform! Mmmhmm, yeah!

Hightower: Hightower, transform! Hmph!

Grimlock: Grimlock, transform! Oh yeah! Ah!

Wedge: Together, they call us, the Build Team!

Heavy Load: Let by the incomparable boy genius Wedge!

Hightower: Nobody constructs a tunnel like this guy!

Grimlock: Will you two knock it off? You’re embarrassing the kid.

Prowl: Yes, well, we almost forgot. The Predacons are raiding the diamond mine. We’ve got to get there somehow!

Sideburn: Hey guys, would you be able to construct a tunnel to Antartica?

Grimlock: What, are you kidding?

Wedge: We can do that, team. Am I right?

Heavy Load: Well, you know, we are the best tunnel builders in the universe. If we can’t do it, it can’t be done!

Wedge: We’ll build the tunnel for you, under one condition.

[Transition]

Optimus: All right, Wedge, I’m listening. What exactly do you want for building this southern passage?

Wedge: Sir, I want you to let us fight. We want to prove ourselves in battle.

Optimus: That’s your condition?

Wedge: Yup, that’s it. Listen, we just want to get out of those tunnels once in a while and kick some bot! Just give us a chance. We know we can do it.

Optimus: Maybe so, but you and your team have more important things to do.

Wedge: We’ll still build the Arctic link, but we wanna fight the bad guys once in a while, too. Let us show you our stuff.

Optimus: I understand how you feel, but I need your contributions as builders much more than I do as fighters. I already have plenty of those. Besides, you are too young and inexperienced to lead in combat. The real thing is different than the simulator.

Wedge: With all due respect, I know the difference. We’re excellent fighters, give us a chance.

T-AI: Huh? We’ve got to get going. The Predacons are making off with all of the diamonds in the mine. We have to stop them right away.

Optimus: Well, all right. You want it, you got it. Wedge, you and your team take care of this.

Wedge: All right! Thanks, Optimus. You won’t be sorry for this.

T-AI: What are you waiting for? Get going now!

Build Team: No!

Wedge: T-AI, we can’t just go like that. We’re fighters. What about the send off? The cool things you do for the other guys!

T-AI: Oh, that stuff. You know, for first timers, you’re very demanding. Time’s running out. Should we take it from the top, Optimus?

Optimus: All right… T-AI, activate the member select program.

T-AI: Roger! Copy that, Optimus. Member selector! Computer has pulled up the Build Team. Attention, Build Team, red alert! Emergency, a diamond mine in Antartica is being robbed by the Predacons. Heavy Load, Hightower, Grimlock and Wedge, report to the field immediately!

Wedge: Oh man, that sounded so cool, didn’t it?!

Heavy Load: Wowee! This is just like I imaged it!

Wedge: Build Team, ready?

Hightower: Lead us into battle!

Autobot Bros: Huh?!

Hightower: I just know you’re going to be a great warrior, Wedge!

Grimlock: Aw, come on, Hightower. He hasn’t even started yet. I know you’re a crane, but don’t raise his hopes too high.

Hightower: And just because you’re the shovel, don’t mean you have to dig yourself into a hole!

T-AI: Errrgghh!

Grimlock: What in the name of Cybertron are you talking about?!

T-AI: Build Team! Knock it off and leave on your assignment!

Wedge: Right, T-AI. Sorry. All right team, follow me!

Build Team: We’re with you, Wedge!

Wedge: Build Team, move out!

Build Team: All right!

Grimlock: Our first battle, I can’t wait!

Heavy Load: Hahaha, yeah!

Wedge: Hustle up!

Prowl: They’ve already finished this section.

Sideburn: They’re fast. They seem motivated, you gotta give ’em that.

X-Brawn: I just hope they can finish it in time.

Wedge: The faster we build, the sooner we can fight.

Grimlock: We’re gonna kick bot!

Heavy Load: You said a shovelful!

Wedge: Those Predacons are going down!

[Commercial]

Gas Skunk: Wow, we racked up a whole mess of these things, huh?

Dark Scream: That’s right, but the real reason we’re doing this is to lure the Autobots here.

Slapper: Yeah, well, I wish they’d hurry up and get here already. I’m freezing here.

Sky-Byte: We just have to wait them out, although it is taking them longer than usual to arrive. But I figured a way to net us some points with Megatron. Once they’re here, I have a deliciously devious plan to capture them. First, I’ll take them prisoner with my net.

Mini Autobot Bros: Aaaaahhhh!

Sky-Byte: Then, by using my anchor arm, I’ll trigger an avalanche to bury them eternity. They’ll be out of the way for good and never bother us again! Sometimes I’m such a genius. I even amaze myself! It’s the perfect plan.

Dark Scream: I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t think his plan’s so great.

Sky-Byte: Keep your negative comments to yourself.

Dark Scream: Man, he’s got good hearing.

Sky-Byte: I promised Megatron that we’d capture the Autobots and I’m not gonna look like a fool! If we fail this time, he’ll never trust us again.

Slapper: You know what, it might be too late. He’s more interested in the Decepticons these days.

Dark Scream: You’re right. He’s been so mean to us lately.

Gas Skunk: Hey fellas, if the Autobots don’t show up, do you think we can keep some of these beautiful diamonds? I don’t wanna sound sentimental, but it is my birthstone.

Grimlock: All right, we’re through!

Heavy Load: You did it! You got us to Antartica!

Wedge: Good work! We finally get to fight against the Predacons on the field of battle.

Slapper: Hey, you trucks, this way! The diamonds are over here!

Wedge: Who are they?

Slapper: Come on and give us a hand, will ya? We’re sure glad to see you guys.

Gas Skunk: Yeah, thanks a lot. We didn’t know how we were gonna get ’em outta here.

Grimlock: Oh, our pleasure! Here you go.

Heavy Load: Where are we gonna put all these diamonds?

Grimlock: We’ll figure it out.

Dark Scream: How thoughtful of Sky-Byte to send transport trucks for all this loot. It’s a lot to carry.

Slapper: Yeah, what a shock. He can actually be nice.

Grimlock: Hey Heavy Load!

Heavy Load: Yeah.

Grimlock: Another batch coming up!

Heavy Load: Go ahead and dump ’em in!

Grimlock: Thanks.

Heavy Load: You’re welcome!

Slapper: Isn’t it nice how polite they are when they work together?

Gas Skunk: It sure is!

Sky-Byte: Huh?! Listen, you gearheads, what are you doing standing around?

Slapper: Sky-Byte, thanks for sending these transport trucks to help us carry all the diamonds!

Sky-Byte: Those aren’t transport trucks, they’re Autobots!

Preds: What?! They’re Autobots?!

Wedge: Wedge, transform! Hyah!

Heavy Load: Heavy Load, transform! Mmmhmm, yeah!

Hightower: Hightower, transform! Hmph!

Grimlock: Grimlock, transform! Oh yeah! Ah!

Wedge: Together, they call us, the Build Team!

Sky-Byte: What? Who are they? What do they want?!

Slapper: They told you they were the Build Team! Weren’t you listening?

Sky-Byte: I heard what they said, dimwit! Why are they here?!

Heavy Load: Wedge, if I’m not mistaken, that dancing shark having a nervous breakdown on the iceberg is Sky-Byte! He’s Megatron’s second in command!

Sky-Byte: You are correct! I am Sky-Byte, the second in command of the Predacons!

Wedge: Man, that guy’s got some good hearing, doesn’t he?

Heavy Load: He should be your target!

Wedge: Wedge, transform! Sky-Byte, you’re going down!

Sky-Byte: Oh really?!

Wedge: Blade attack!

Sky-Byte: Listen fool, you’re out of your league! You’ll be sorry we tangled! Sky-Byte, terrorize!

Wedge: Let go of me, fish breath!

Sky-Byte: Hahahaha!

Heavy Load: Sky-Byte, who don’t know who you’re messing with!

Slapper: Hold it!

Heavy Load: Oh yeah? I’ve got jaws of my own!

Grimlock: Shovel scissors!

Sky-Byte: Stop moving or I’ll crush you into pieces!

Heavy Load: Oh no!

Wedge: Listen, don’t worry about me. Just get this guy, will ya?!

Sky-Byte: Hahaha! Look at them! I’ve got their leader and they’re paralyzed with fear! Predacons, rip them apart and show them no mercy!

Slapper: No so fast! You’ve got to get by us first and that’s not going to be easy! Slapper, terrorize!

Gas Skunk: Gas Skunk, terrorize!

Dark Scream: Dark Scream, terrorize!

Slapper: Tongue Lash Attack!

Gas Skunk: Tail Blade Slash!

Dark Scream: Dark Sword Strike!

Slapper: Right laser!

Gas Skunk: Left laser!

Dark Scream: Center laser!

Sky-Byte: Haha, you’ve got them on the ropes, boys. Keep it up!

Heavy Load: Leave Wedge alone!

Wedge: Get outta here! Save yourselves! Forget about me!

[Commercial]

Sky-Byte: Your nobility is nauseating, Autobot. Time to say goodbye!

Heavy Load: Listen to me, you’ve got to stop this. He’s just a kid!

Sky-Byte: Then allow me to teach him the penalities of war.

Heavy Load: Look, I’ll tell you our secret in return for his safety!

Sky-Byte: What?! What?

Heavy Load: You see, we’re the builders of the global space bridge and I have the map right here. Let Wedge go and I’ll give you the disk!

Sky-Byte: A disk? Why that’s an excellent idea. All right, stop! Let them go. That’s enough! Now with the map in our hands, the game is over and Megatron will be so pleased.

Mini-Megatron: Great job, Sky-Byte! I’m sorry I ever doubted you. Who needs Scourge and the Decepticons when I have you.

Mini-Sky-Byte: Thank you, Megatron.

Sky-Byte: All right, bring the schematics to me!

Heavy Load: Okay, I’m coming.

Grimlock: Wait! Heavy Load, you’ll be committing treason against the Autobots! Don’t do it.

Heavy Load: I have to do it to save Wedge’s life.

Hightower: Hey, be careful, will ya? That guy’s really dangerous.

Grimlock: I think he’s flipped a switch!

Sky-Byte: That’s good. Now just place that disk on top of the rock infront of you.

Heavy Load: If I leave the disk here, how do I know you’re going to let him go?

Sky-Byte: I guess you’ll have to trust me! Now, use your tongue to retrieve it, Slapper.

Slapper: The ice will stick to my tongue!

Sky-Byte: Just do what I tell you and get the disk!

Slapper: All right, I’ll get it. Just lighten up a little. Here goes!

Optimus: Blizzard Blast, fire! Optimus Prime, transform!

Heavy Load: Boy, we are glad to see you!

Optimus: Heavy Load, you can’t just hand over that disk to them! That map is our lifeline.

Heavy Load: I had no choice, Optimus.

Sky-Byte: Don’t stick your siren where it doesn’t belong. Rest assured, Optimus, you’re not going to spoil my success!

Wedge: Wedge, transform! Take this, fin face!

Heavy Load: You’re amazing!

Wedge: Come on, you guys! We gotta get that disk back now!

Heavy Load: What?

Grimlock: What’s the matter with you guys? We gotta get that disk before the Predacons grab it. It’s right over there.

Wedge: Follow me, guys. Let’s stick together.

Hightower and Grimlock: Right!

Heavy Load: Uh, Wedge! Wait a minute! You don’t have to get it! Here, peggy, peggy! Here, boy!

Sky-Byte: That map was our edge over them. We have to analyze it. Now go and get it back for me.

Preds: Yeah!

Ro-Tor: Hmmm… How many Transformers does it take to capture a flightless bird? I’ll just zero in… That’s it! They must want that disk.

Sky-Byte: Treacherous Decepticons!

Ro-Tor: Check this out. You might find it interesting.

Scourge: This is a map of the global space bridge. I’m sure Megatron would love to see this. Sky-Byte, your efforts are appreciated.

Sky-Byte: Scourge, that map belongs to me. Hand it over right now.

Scourge: Ha, ha, ha, ha! This disk is mine now!

Sky-Byte: That’s Predacon property!

Scourge: In that case, it’s only fitting the Decepticons take it from you.

Sky-Byte: I told you! If you don’t hand that disk over immediately, we’ll take it over by force.

Preds: That’s right!

Scourge: You want to fight?

Mega-Octane: All right, you guys. Zero in on your targets.

Armorhide: Scourge, let me fire. Come on, man. I’m all geared up for battle. If I don’t do something soon, those gears are gonna rust. Come on, just one shot!

Dark Scream: Hey, that’s not fair! He brought an entire army.

Slapper: Maybe we should re-think this.

Gas Skunk: Yeah, well, it’s been fun, but we’ve gotta go now. Ta-ta, guys.

Dark Scream: Buh-bye.

Sky-Byte: Where do you think you’re going? Where’s your pride in being part of Team Sky-Byte?

Slapper: That kid must’ve really kicked his head hard. I don’t remember signing up for his crew.

Dark Scream: I didn’t.

Gas Skunk: I think I was sick that day.

Sky-Byte: Would you get over there and stop stalling!

Scourge: They want to play, we’ll play. Fire!

Sky-Byte: Stop it! You three are embarrassing me! Attack!

Slapper: Right laser!

Gas Skunk: Left laser!

Dark Scream: Center laser!

Heavy Load: They’re too busy fighting amongst themselves, they forgot about us!

Optimus: They both want credit for retrieving the map.

Hightower: So what are we going to do now, Wedge, just stand here all day and watch these goofballs fight eachother?

Wedge: We’re gonna go and get that map back! I don’t care what it takes! Come on, let’s go!

Optimus: Hold on, Wedge.

Wedge: What is it, Prime? Our secret’s on the line.

Optimus: A good commander remains calm in combat. Analyze the situation cooly before responding. And Heavy Load, I understand your leader was in danger, but do you think you did the right thing surrendering the map?

Heavy Load: Well, I have a confession. The map I gave them is bogus.

Optimus: Really? Are you sure?

Heavy Load: Oh yeah, and if they decide to follow that map, they’re going to be in big trouble. It’s a map of the sewers!

Optimus: Good thinking!

Grimlock: Oh no!

Heavy Load: What?

Grimlock: He’s going to take them on by himself!

Wedge: Right, that’s enough! Now give it back!

Heavy Load: No, don’t!

Optimus: He’s got a lot to learn about keeping his cool under pressure.

Wedge: Give me back that disk! Sky-Byte, give me that map! I’m not letting go until you give it back.

Sky-Byte: Look around and you’ll notice that I’m a little busy right now, so buzz off!

Wedge: That’s it, now I’m really mad!

Ro-Tor: Get out of here, kid!

Armorhide: Scram, pencil neck!

Gas Skunk: Get outta here! Let me help ya.

Scourge: The disk!

Sky-Byte: Splendid. You’re right back where you belong. As long as I have it, I might as well check it out. Oh, look! There’s an entrance nearby. How convenient. This is just too perfect. I’ll use their system to travel to Megatron and report the news. How ironic.

Gas Skunk: I can’t wait to take a ride in the tunnel!

Sky-Byte: Silence! There it is… Everyone, follow me!

Dark Scream: I guess we showed Scourge who’s boss after all.

Slapper: Yeah, we’ll have the last laugh.

Gas Skunk: Right. Those guys are such losers. C’mon, let’s go.

Scourge: They found the entrance. Decepticons, we can’t let them get away! I don’t want them reporting into Megatron.

Decepticons: Yessir!

Wedge: Noooo!

Heavy Load: Now hold on! Let them go, it’s all right.

Wedge: You don’t understand, Heavy Load. Because of me they have the map. If I don’t get it back, I’ll never forgive myself.

Heavy Load: Don’t worry, I have the real map. It’s right here, see? They have a fake.

Wedge: Are you kidding me?

[Transition]

Slapper: I can’t wait to get there!

Sky-Byte: What’s this? This smells funny. This can’t be right, can it?

Scourge: This is awful… That can’t be the real map.

Sky-Byte: Wait a minute, was this whole thing a setup?

[Transition]

Optimus: Optimus Prime, transform! Battle Mode! Let’s give our friends a chilly reception. Blizzard Storm, fire!

Decepticons: Huh?!

Predacons: Huh?

All: Aaaaahhh!

[Commercial]

Optimus: Well, you got your battle today, just like you asked for. You guys still have a lot to learn about combat, but if you don’t actually do it, you won’t get the experience you need. So just forget about what happened today. Right now, we depend on you for construction, but with teamwork, you’ll be super warriors in no time.

Wedge: Woohoo!

Heavy Load: We’ll get to fight again! That’s great!

Hightower and Grimlock: We’ll be even better next time!

Wedge: We really did it!

Optimus: With a little experience, this team may distinguish itself as a fine combat unit. Wedge reminds me a lot of those diamonds. He’s a little rough now, but with some work, a little discipline, a little training, with a little polish, he could shine and become a valuable fighting Autobot one day.

[End]

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